Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.

Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.

Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation whilst drunk.

Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Flatulence (n.):  emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Frisbeetarianism (n.):  the belief that when you die your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 

Gargoyle  (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.

Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.

Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Pokemon (n.): a Rastafarian proctologist.

Rectitude (n.): the formal: dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.

Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent.

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