Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader!'

The gas pump didn't respond. The younger alien, an irascible sort, became immediately angered at this rude lack of response.

The older alien cautioned him, 'Whoa!' he said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

But the rash young alien ignored the warning. He repeated his greeting and received the same stony response. By now he was incandescent. Drawing his ray gun, he tried once last time, 'Greetings, Earthling,' he barked. 'We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

Once again the older alien issued a warning, 'Don't do that, comrade! You really don't want to get on the wrong side of this Earthling.'

'Rubbish!' replied the cocky young alien. He aimed his weapon at the gas pump and opened fire. Immediately there was a huge explosion. A massive fireball raced towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet. It deposited him a burnt, smoking mess in a cactus patch 200 yards away.

Half an hour passed. When the young alien finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' he exclaimed. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.'