Published on Tuesday, 22 February 2011 00:00 | | 
‘Tyrone G. is the father of the child. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC cd’s?’
‘I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy’.
These are some of the responses written on Child Support Agency forms by women in the U.K. under the section, Father’s Details.
'Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Franklin McKirnley. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night'
'I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.'
'I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 30 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks!
'I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.'
'From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-
'So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 32 Miller St , mine might have remained unfertilized.'