What’s the difference between a New Year resolution and a New Year determination? Diane Southam takes a look

 

 

 

It’s that time of year when nicotine patches double in price, booze halves in price and magazines are full of detoxes, diets, and ‘New Year New You’ features. The trouble is, most of our resolutions are about giving something up. ‘Giving up’ resolutions are usually tangled up with feelings of guilt and self-loathing, and the belief that we’ll like ourselves more if we look good and feel better.

But do we feel better about ourselves when we give something up? Yes, for a while we get a definite self-esteem boost – not to mention a health boost, as the most popular ‘giving up’ items are fags, booze, chocolate and junk food. For a while we feel more at ease with ourselves because we’re slimmer, and don’t have hangovers or a bad cough.   The problem is that self-esteem based on giving up is ephemeral – in fact we’re often lucky if our resolve lasts as long as the first Easter egg.  And when our lives start to go pear-shaped, more often than not, so do our resolutions. Faced with the news that we’ve just been made redundant, or our partner’s been unfaithful, turning down a large glass of Merlot borders on the masochistic.

 

For Buddhists, New Year is an important time because it’s when determinations are made. What’s the difference between a determination and a resolution?  A determination is more powerful for a start, and it’s also more concerned with starting up than with giving up. Through connecting their lives with the Mystic Law of the universe, Buddhists can propel themselves forward in whatever direction they have ‘determined’. It’s all about embracing the new. The future exists in the present determination. Whatever has or hasn’t happened in the past is irrelevant. In effect, a determination is about redesigning your life.

 

Whether you’re a Buddhist or not, it’s useful to view your future as something that can be determined right now, in the present, by you personally. You can do this by making targets, not only around your body image or health, but in all areas of your life – work, relationships, family, personal development, leisure, sport, creativity, learning, travel.

 

And determinations are more effective if they include others. There needs to be balance. If our determinations are only made with ourselves in mind we risk becoming self-centred and uncaring, if they’re too much about others and our own needs and desires are ignored, we lose self-respect and suffer. So think about adding some determinations to your list - like having a cup of tea once a week with the lonely old lady next door, or doing a bit more to prevent global warming.

 

If you want to give ‘starting up’ a go this year, visualise how you would like your life/the world to be, write a list of your determinations and goals and keep checking your progress throughout the year. Most important of all,  have faith that your life can change for the better, and that the world you live in can change for the better too. Happy New Year.

 

Greenlight Counselling and Coaching Consultancy