SHOPPING TROLLEY

We met at Uni. I knew she flirted with other guys but I turned a blind eye. Juliet was really attractive, you see. 

She was one of the most popular girls in my year. And she was clever, much cleverer than me. She got a first in physics. I didn’t.

She liked to remind me of this every so often – about once a week in fact. But Juliet had chosen to go out with me, and that made me feel good about myself – about the best I'd ever felt.

No surprise then that she got a better job and a higher salary than me.  We lived and worked in different towns but spent most weekends together. I was in a bed-sit. Juliet's parents lent her the deposit to buy a flat. She persuaded me to buy most of the furniture because she'd blown all her savings on a spa holiday in Thailand with her sister.

One night I got really drunk with my best mate John. He told me, tearfully, he'd slept with Juliet. I was gutted. What hurt the most was that he couldn't even remember how many times.  But still I didn't finish it with Juliet.  Instead I opted for the moral high-ground and 'forgave' them both – kidding myself that my magnanimous gesture would make her love and respect me more.

It was Saturday morning and we were in Homebase. I was pushing the shopping trolley while she loaded it up with painting materials. I'd agreed to paint her living-room that weekend even though I was coming down with 'flu.  It was when she asked me if I would mind sticking it all on my credit card that I finally flipped and a light went on. What the **** was I doing with this woman? How had I let myself become a human doormat?

My Dad had been a bully. He was a captain in the Merchant Navy and away from home most of the time. He resented me being the man of the house when he was at sea, and put me down a lot in front of my mother and sisters. I had no confidence and always felt I was second best.

I left the trolley in the middle of the aisle, strode out of Homebase and never saw Juliet again.