Cure The Blues

Busters and Boosters: Relationships

Published on Saturday, 23 February 2008 06:13 | posted by Diane | Print

Looking to improve yours?

Diane Southam offers some ideas 

 

 

  

RELATIONSHIP BUSTERS

 

  • Believing you’re only half a person if you aren't in a relationship, or only half a person if you are

  • Expecting your relationship - either consciously or unconsciously - to live up to, (or down to), that of your parents' 

  • Becoming a 'Love Addict' hooked on the feeling of being in love for the first time. It won’t get you very far. The honeymoon period is always followed by a hangover period – they even out eventually

  • Believing that staying in a bad relationship is still better than being on your own.  Many people put up with years of misery and hardship or refuse to confront negative relationship issues because they’re more afraid of being single

  • Letting go of friendships and interests outside your relationship

  • Holding your partner one hundred per cent responsible for your happiness, or yourself responsible for theirs

  • Giving in to feelings of jealousy and becoming obsessed by any real or imagined incident that 'proves' your partner's love is fading 

  • Forgetting all relationships need to be worked at - continually!

 

RELATIONSHIP BOOSTERS

 

  • Talking to each other. And listening. Communication difficulties are at the heart of most relationship problems 

  • Finding the courage to explore those nasty 'no-go' areas together 

  • Understanding that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.  When you get that right, a good relationship will follow

  • Working through problems together, so that there are no winners or losers

  • Accepting your partner's opinions and feelings even when they’re different to your own

  • Giving each other plenty of space

  • Acknowledging that you both have different expectations of what constitutes a good relationship and attempting to combine these expectations

  • Remembering: 'Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead in the same direction.' Support one another in your search to realise your full potential as human beings

 

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