Published on Saturday, 26 July 2008 04:30 | 
Feel guilty when you say 'No'? Diane Southam has a few tips on how to be assertive
ASSERTIVENESS BUSTERS:
Feeling guilty when you say ‘No’
Neglecting to set boundaries
Believing that living by other people’s agendas means you’re a good person
Refusing to speak up for yourself
Behaving in an overly passive, manipulative or aggressive way
Blaming other people for your unhappiness
Allowing people to dump their problems on you
Adhering to the three negative assertiveness positions: I’m not okay you’re okay; I’m okay you’re not okay; I’m not okay you’re not okay
ASSERTIVENESS BOOSTERS:
Adhering to the positive assertiveness position; I’m okay you’re okay
Having equal respect for yourself and others
Letting other people know how they can treat you
Knowing you can change your mind without making excuses
Taking responsibility for all your actions and feelings
Choosing whether or not to get involved in other people’s problems
Behaving towards other people honestly and directly
Acknowledging that you have the right to be successful
