Feel guilty when you say 'No'? Diane Southam has a few tips on how to be assertive

ASSERTIVENESS BUSTERS: 

Feeling guilty when you say ‘No’

Neglecting to set boundaries

Believing that living by other people’s agendas means you’re a good person

Refusing to speak up for yourself

Behaving in an overly passive, manipulative or aggressive way

Blaming other people for your unhappiness

Allowing people to dump their problems on you

Adhering to the three negative assertiveness positions: I’m not okay you’re okay; I’m okay you’re not okay; I’m not okay you’re not okay

ASSERTIVENESS BOOSTERS:

Adhering to the positive assertiveness position; I’m okay you’re okay

Having equal respect for yourself and others

Letting other people know how they can treat you

Knowing you can change your mind without making excuses

Taking responsibility for all your actions and feelings

Choosing whether or not to get involved in other people’s problems

Behaving towards other people honestly and directly

Acknowledging that you have the right to be successful

Greenlight Website