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'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.'  Er - really?  A Buddhist view of obstacles and how to use them.

By Malaika Kusumi

 

We all know that life comes with its ups and downs. Then why is it that we let life's downs get us so down - or knock us completely sideways? We talk about  karma, cause and effect and the Divine Will or Plan, yet we still have great difficulty in accepting and dealing with troubles that are viewed as barricades or obstacles to our happiness.

'I was just promoted to manager in one of the top ten financial institutes in the country. I make more money than I had ever dreamt of, and let me tell you I dream big. I am married to the love of my life, have kids, the house, the car, even the boat.  I am basically happy but I would not say fulfilled.' 

'I'm in love! I thought that a love like this was strictly make-believe - you know, like in some Holly-Bollywood film.  But here I am right smack dab in the middle of love. I have never felt more fulfilled in my life.' 

'I just got my test results back. It is confirmed. I have cancer. I have never felt more afraid in my life.' 

'I just lost my job and I'm sure to lose my house as the mortgage is too high. It's odd - I should feel afraid but I'm just plain numb.' 

'I really want to complete my doctorate degree. It has been a long and expensive eight years and I have sacrificed a lot, maybe too much.  But once I get my doctorate and go to work I can make up for all the pain that I have caused those close to me, pay back all my loans and feel free once again.' 

What do these five situations have in common? At first glance very little.  In each case, however, the situation contains an obstacle to the individual's absolute happiness.

How so?

Maybe a better question answered is - what is an obstacle?  From the Buddhist perspective it is anything that causes one not to realise and develop one'sinnate potential as a human being. An obstacle is anything that stands in the way of one's absolute happiness.

'Absolute happiness' - how is this defined? 

Unlike superficial happiness that is defined by relationships and/or situations - meaning anything outside of oneself - absolute happiness is the unlimited freedom and joy one feels from within for no other reason other than one 'is'.  It is the natural consequence of viewing everything that happens to us, good or bad, as a tool for our development. It is about owning our life, all of it, the ups and downs, the gains the losses, the smart and the dumb moves we make. It is about continually doing one's 'human revolution'; that is to say, by continually recognising, accepting and actively participating in those problems which have the potential (if we choose to view it this way) to shape our lives into one of unlimited freedom, compassion, deep underlying satisfaction and joy.

If I were to liken this process to going to the gym I would say – work out! 

When we decide to train in the gym we consciously pick out our obstacles. Some run on the treadmill and challenge themselves to complete the time chosen. Those who choose aerobic classes are faced with developing the physical condition needed to complete the hour, the concentration and the focus to follow the routines that are given.  Then there are those who choose to lift weights, and train to lift even heavier weights.

In all these cases, what is required is the decision to challenge the obstacle - and the ability to persist!  It is the challenge that the aerobic training gives the heart, and that the weights give the body, which build it into a strong, healthy organism.  And this depends on our refusal to be overcome or overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings of weakness.

This combination of the body and spirit working in total unity allows the entire organism - meaning you and me - to develop a state of health, capability and readiness that in any situation will be able to function and save itself and others.  Without these self-imposed challenges one could not develop or feel the bliss of accomplishment.

In other words, our life can be likened to going to the gym and the obstacles we face can be likened to these physical challenges.

In this sense, it could be said that each and every obstacle that enters our life does so through our own decision. It is exactly the challenge we need at that particular time and space.

It is actually an answer to our prayer or deep wish.

But when we get the challenge needed to fulfil our prayers we often become confused, and may begin to doubt or give up. However, it makes as much sense that this obstacle appears as when we say, 'I want to lose weight and get into condition and so will go to the gym.'  In this case the gym is the proper place to accomplish our deep wish or prayer (which can be seen as a very deep wish which comes from within, not without our lives).

From a Buddhist perspective, we 'choose' and 'decide' our own obstacles, including the time and the place, so that we can do the training needed to get to our desired level of living – the freedom, joy and wisdom.  And we do this by 'creating the appropriate karma'.  Chanting helps us to see this clearly; it turns on the light in the centre of our lives and leaves no corner untouched. 

Negative emotions occur when we do not really understand the significant role that obstacles play within the concept of changing karma. If we can deeply  understand the process without emotional attachment or judgement then we are able to use it to create great value.  So:

  • LOOK at the obstacle
  • RECOGNISE it
  • CONFRONT it
  • OWN it
  • MAKE it yours

Because it is this weight that will make you strong for yourself and for others.

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