While love may conquer all, it won't survive an in-depth interrogation about a partner's recycling habits on the first date advises Anna Shepherd

Once you've been together a few years (in my case make that eight) you reach a point in your relationship when you can happily hurl abuse at your loved one if he (or she) so much as leaves the tap on a for a moment longer than is necessary to rinse a plate or dampen a toothbrush. By then, the extent of your eco-fascism will have been revealed. But at the beginning, my advice would be to take it slow.

Don't mention the C word too early on. Climate change is not a romantic subject. Instead, indicate a passing interest in green matters by suggesting eco-friendly restaurants, such as Water House or Acorn House if you're in London. Somewhere close to you that is known for local, seasonal produce, if you are not.

While at the restaurant, drink tap water (along with the hard stuff, obviously, I'm not expecting you to stay sober). Should your partner ask for mineral water, frown slightly to show your disapproval, while maintaining a mischievous smile.

Eat by candlelight. It will save energy and guarantee a flattering glow. This is easy at home; harder at restaurants, but you could ask your waiter for dimmer lights and more candles.

Don't count carbon calories. There is nothing more unattractive than someone who won't enjoy their food because they are too busy totting up its environmental impact. On a first date, forget food miles completely or at least try not to talk about them.

By all means, ask if there is a sustainable fish policy at the restaurant. Stop short of asking for the CV of your sea bass and the lowdown on who its grandparents were.

Insist on a moonlit walk home - to save your carbon footprint and to provide plenty of kissing opportunities.

If the date has gone well, it could just end in the bedroom. Here you might think that green concerns have no place. It'd be nice, after all, to have one territory that is spared a green makeover. And shouldn't we be able to drop our ideals, as well as our organic hemp knickers, at the bedroom door? This is what I thought until I was won over by the concept of an eco-boudoir - soya-wax candles burning virtuously, organic massage oils and a bamboo bed with plumped-up cushions made from recycled materials.

Hints on Greening your Bedroom Behaviour

Take baths together. Even better in the water-saving stakes is to take brief, flirty showers together since a five minute showers uses roughly 30 per cent less water than running a bath.

Undies should be organic, like these. Non-organic cotton is one of the most heavily sprayed crops around; roughly a quarter of the world's insecticides are poured on to cotton fields each year, with about 150g being used in the making of one T-shirt.

Too embarrassed to charge a solar-powered sex toy on your sunlit balcony in full view of the neighbours. I would be, too. Stick to one that takes rechargeable batteries. And keep it in the bedroom.

The most biodegradable contraceptive on the market is a condom made from the intestinal membrane of lambs. Suitable only for lovers with a strong stomach. Definitely not for vegans, who have their own special brand, called condomi (find it here), which uses cocoa powder instead of the milk protein required to process latex.

Don't throw normal condoms down the toilet. The Environment Agency estimates that two billion items of sanitary protection, of which condoms form a big part, end up in the UK's sewers every year, from where they have to be removed, washed (otherwise they are seen as contaminated) and sent to landfill. Better to wrap them in some recycled loo paper and pop them in the bin.

Choose your moment carefully. Just before bedtime means that you'll warm up the bed and yourselves, and you can turn the heating off during the winter months.

Do it for the planet. Having sex is carbon neutral and a darn sight less damaging than most other leisure activities. Providing it doesn't always end in babies.

Anna Shepard is the author of How Green Are My Wellies, published by Eden Project.