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Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader!'

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Things that you can only get away with saying at Christmas!

 

I prefer breasts to legs.

Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

Smother the butter all over the breasts!

If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

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Deliriously funny - a guaranteed mood-lifter! 

Take one roof, a ball - and several awesomely talented young men...

A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the United States of America

 

 

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately (you should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary).

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How far has your reputation travelled?  Maybe farther than you think...

Click here to find out (then add your name and a significant other's to the first two boxes). 

 

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